its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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