remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
