I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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