She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
