Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
