I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
