Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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