I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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