We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
