You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My balls are so social today.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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