Heybabeimwearingurpanties
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
