i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
pop tarts are not kleenex
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
