Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
