I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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