After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Randomize
