I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize