dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
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you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
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A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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