she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize