How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
