idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
