dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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