On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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