So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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