The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
