forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
