You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
