I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
