I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
