I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
