I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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