I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I didn't notice because vodka
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
