some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
