Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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