I'm really into asian looking animals
My first STD was from a foam party
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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