she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
