i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
