I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
