in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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