3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
