Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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