In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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