were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
