Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize