It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize