Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
