I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
