I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
