I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
