Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
