After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.