i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.