Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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