Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
