wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
