I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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