Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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