my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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