I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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