you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
