she was so not down for the gang bang
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
