Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
