i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
