I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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