I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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