why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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