I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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