okay pat passed out under dana's car
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
